Getting back to me

What's up DeKay Tribe! It's ya girl DeKay and I missed you guys!!! I have been really focusing on healing and working on different projects and visions! Like....music! Yes, music lol. Listen, I have loved music since I was a child. I cannot even begin to tell you how many songs I have written or recorded on my phone. So, it was only right to start taking it seriously and following a dream of mine. I have been working on other things but if you stick around you will find out what they are in the near future.

Well, I have been going through a lot ya'll. I have been doing the work and healing and getting in the gym, eating better, and cutting bad habits out of my life..taking it day by day and moment by moment. This has been by far the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. Intentionally doing better and actually seeing the fruits of my labor. Things have been lighter and I find myself liking my time with just me. I was afraid to be alone....for a long time because I did not know how to control my overwhelming thoughts and the overbearing fear of never finding anyone to love me one day. The crazy thing is....I found myself. My mind is so much clearer, I can bring myself out of dark places, I do not feel attached to anything or anyone, I feel free! Now, don't get it twisted this journey is up and down. I don't always feel this way. Which is why I said I can pull myself out of dark places and back to reality.

I realized that it is okay to reminisce and have that feeling of I wish things went differently but you have to learn to not dwell on it. Have the feeling, have your moment, and then move on. What is for you will happen and you may want it to happen right now but that's just not the case. This journey has been teaching me what I do want and what I do not want in a partner. It has made me see my flaws and wrongdoings as well. I realize I run away a lot when things become too much for me. This can be a huge problem and even though I never went far my words were enough. I'm learning to talk at the moment and being okay with having that conversation whether it be in public or private. Having reassurance in the moment can make a partnership even stronger and I am such a private person I would refuse to have conversations in public. I am learning that compromising is a must. If it is going to make your partner feel better to have the conversation in that moment, do it. And not with an attitude DeKay Tribe haha. You will see being in a relationship it takes compromising to make it. Not, giving in all the time now but showing that effort that I am willing to meet you halfway. Your relationship should not be draining you. If anything it should make you feel like the best version of yourself! If you are not being the best version of yourself, maybe it's time to reevaluate a few things. Hopefully, I helped some of you guys out ;)

I hope you have an amazing Monday DeKay Tribe! And don't go being a bitter betty if your day isn't going well! Regroup and start over :)

Love,

DeKay